I Will Never Stop Worrying | #MomLife


The other night Jesse and I were on a walk with Kreed. It was the weekend before his six month doctor appointment (SIX MONTHS WHAT) and I was coming up with a list of questions to ask our pediatrician.

When can I start foods other than cereal?

When will Kreed babble more?

He has a tooth, should I be brushing it?

Jesse looked to me and told me I worry too much…which got me thinking…since when was worrying or asking questions a bad thing?

If he thinks that those questions indicate that I worry too much than thank God he doesn’t know the other millions of things that go through my mind daily.

Let’s be real here. I’m a first time mom. I’m a first time mom to a premature baby. I have no idea what to expect or when to expect it. I worried about him before he was conceived so of course I worry about him now.

His digestive system is going to be slower than some, he will hit milestones at a different pace and he is just a little guy. I totally get that and have no problems with any of it.

Like I said, I don’t think that worrying is a bad thing. I think as parents, as mothers especially, we have a desire to always do the right thing for our children.

It doesn’t help that the main stream media, random strangers in Walmart, and all of those dang parenting apps are constantly telling us how to parent and what is right for our baby. Yes. People who most times don’t even know our children are telling us how to raise them. 

How does that make sense?

I don’t fear that something is ‘wrong’ with Kreed or that his development is off at all. However, I do want to know if there is anything I can do to better his life in any way. I want to be informed. I want to ask questions even if there isn’t a ‘right’ answer out there.

If he gets a red spot on his skin there is a 99% chance that I will panic and search for the cause (this actually happened…turns out it was a bug bite…) 

If he has a fever and is cranky I will ask all of my mom friends what the cause could be. They will tell me to give him Tylenol and he will be ok. (So far thats been right every time.)

He sucks his thumb and I worry that that could mess his teeth up in the future (we will cross that bridge when we get to it.)

I may be biased but I think that Kreed is the happiest baby out there. He is so sweet and smiles constantly. I’d like to think that this is an indication that I’m doing an ok job as a mom…but I always want to strive to be the best. I want him to have the best opportunities and the best overall life possible.

I know that all babies are different and that in time he will be running around the house and probably putting quarters in a swear jar but even then I will make lists of questions to ask the doctor and search Google for ways to help him potty train or whatever the case may be.

I will always want the best for him.

I will never stop worrying.

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