What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?
“What Do You Want to be When You Grow Up?” A question that we’re all asked (far too often) starting around kindergarten. Sure, there are people out there who know at the age of 5 that they are going to be a doctor or a veterinarian or a musician when they grow up. But me? I was never one of those people.
I went through several phases throughout childhood and adolescence where I thought that I knew what I wanted to be. As a child, I loved animals and wondered if I would become a veterinarian. It turns out that vets work with animals other than dogs and cats (like, snakes) so I became uninterested pretty quickly. I then wondered if I would possibly be the next Britney Spears or possibly the next Spice Girl (dream big, right?), a professional basketball player (I was horrible at basketball and was blessed with the short gene so I was really reaching for the fences on that one..) and then there was also a short phase where I thought I should become a lawyer (this was during my teenage years when I had a PhD in arguing…also around the time Legally Blonde came out).
Finally, in high school I dabbled in photography and writing for the newspaper and thought about going into journalism because I really loved it, but ultimately I decided to go to college for business.
I quickly learned that everyone that didn’t know ‘what they wanted to be when they grew up’ majored in business. Ok so not everyone, but people like me that’s for sure.
Being the indecisive person that I am, I spent time in the business department, decided to change over to a communications major, back to business and then finally settled in as a health and physical education major.
Or so I thought.
I spent a couple of years learning the art of teaching and interacting with children, which I had always enjoyed doing. As a child, I was into baby dolls and taking care of them. I was obsessed with baby shows on TLC (anyone else remember ‘A Baby Story’?) I babysat starting at the age of, like, twelve. All of the signs were there that I loved children and would enjoy nurturing them and helping them develop in to great little humans. I really thought that teaching was my niche; what I wanted to be when I grew up.
Then a day came where I was student teaching at a middle school nearby. While all middle school students are a little crazy (because #hormones) I met several that were truly troubled. They lived rough home lives and things were only worse when they got to school and had to deal with bullying. One student even tried to erase her skin because she was being made fun of for being black. (Parents, raise kind humans please!) That is the day I hit my breaking point. I couldn’t stand seeing the way some of these kids lived. I just wanted to take them all home with me and make everything better.
I have so much respect for teachers. Y’all are true heroes.
I was back to square one. What did I want to be when I grew up? Back to the business department.
I had a couple of office management jobs before I finally ended up as an insurance agent for an amazing company; a dream job that I truly loved and was actually really good at! My boss was amazing, I was excelling in my position and was being noticed by the big wigs. Life was good.
I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.
And then Kreed came along. And things changed.
Throughout my life there was never a doubt in my mind that I eventually wanted to be a wife and a mother. I loved taking care of people. When Jesse and I got married and even when we were dating I took pride in having dinner done every night and always did my best to keep up with the laundry and keep the house clean. I was old school. (I learned it from my grandma.) But this was the 2000s, wives and mothers worked, right?
Looking back I suppose that the dream of being a mom and raising and taking care of my family was always there in the back of my mind.
I dreamt of days where I would wake up and make my family breakfast and send my husband off to work and pick up the kids from practice.
I dreamt of it but never thought that I would be able to spend my days doing it.
And then Kreed came along. And my dreams came true.
When Kreed was born something inside of me changed. We had spent so much time, energy and emotions in the process of getting him here (have you read our infertility story?) that I couldn’t bear the thought of letting him go.
I dreaded going to back work, to the job that I loved so much, because it meant that I would be handing over my roll as caretaker to someone else.
I expressed my feelings to Jesse and we spent a lot of time talking and praying about it.
My friends warned me that the job of a twenty-four-seven wife and mom was hard. There are no days off. There aren’t any breaks or moments alone.
But I wanted to take on that roll with every ounce of my being.
So I stayed home.
Here we are, a year in and I guess I must be weird because I have never had a problem with the sleepless nights, or the crying for no reason, or the everyday demands that come with being home and taking care of a family. (Except laundry. I really hate laundry.)
I actually love it; the good and the bad. I thrive from it and I feel fulfilled in a way that I never have before.
I have even been blessed to take my passion for photography and writing and turn it into a lifestyle. (Have you checked out my Instagram lately?)
So here I am; a 26 year old wife, mom, blogger, and momtographer and I am so happy to say that I can finally answer the question…
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”